english, please

What's wrong with this tie? Absolutely nothing. Det här är slipsen Barry Gibb lägger runt halsen när han går på dammiddag med Dolly, Dionne och Diana, slipsen Kenny Rodgers knöt runt sin apelsinsolade inför Country Music Awards -92, slipsen Versace ville bära comme vêtement préfèré dans mon lit de parade haute couture.
      What's right with this tie? Power. Power colors, power patterns, power potency. Den är blank, den har de rätta figurinerna. Dropshaped, style-starring magnoscope super phone. Den hänger, den dinglar, it's bright and shiny. Asshole power tie of the month. No doubt.
      But don't take our word for it. Sir Lawrence In-the-ghetto Llewellyn, indianhövding:
      -Looking at this garment, one realizes its extra-ordinary design and how the fabric and the colours are combined to create that vast ocular experience characterising an asshole power tie. I always go for power myself, and I would definitely prefer this tie.
      So connect the power tie, tie it up tight and start connecting with people. You won't have a hard time. Inte med the Asshole power tie. Bien sûr que non. Fetjävel.


This story is about explaining why a certain tie has earned the title Asshole Power Garment. Basically, it's because it's cool. People such as Barry Gibb would use it, and he's written hit songs for female superstars such as Diana Ross, Dionne Warwick, and Dolly Parton. This tie takes you to where the stars roam - in Winnerland. Just look at the photos. You'll understand.
© Copyright 1998 Asshole Magazine

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