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What's wrong with this tie? Absolutely nothing. This is the tie with which Barry Gibb adorns himself for ladies' dinner with Dolly, Dionne and Diana, the tie Kenny Rodgers tied around his beefy orange peel tanned neck for the Country Music Awards '92, the tie Versace wanted to wear comme vêtement préfèré dans mon lit de parade haute couture.
      What's right with this tie? Power. Power colors, power patterns, power potency. It's bright and shiny and with the coolest pattern. Dropshaped, style-starring magnoscope super phone. It hangs there and it dangles. Dangle, dingle bell. Asshole power tie of the month. No doubt.
      But don't take our word for it. Sir Lawrence In-the-ghetto Llewellyn, Indian chief:
      -Looking at this garment, one realizes its extra-ordinary design and how the fabric and the colours are combined to create that vast ocular experience characterising an asshole power tie. I always go for power myself, and I would definitely prefer this tie.
      So connect the power tie, tie it up tight and start connecting with people. You won't have a hard time. Not with the Asshole power tie. Bien sûr que non. You fat ass.


This story is about explaining why a certain tie has earned the title Asshole Power Garment. Basically, it's because it's cool. People such as Barry Gibb would use it, and he's written hit songs for female superstars such as Diana Ross, Dionne Warwick, and Dolly Parton. This tie takes you to where the stars roam - in Winnerland. Just look at the photos. You'll understand.
© Copyright 1998 Asshole Magazine

asshole 1/98 \ editorial \ zeitgeist \ homme \ femme \ concept \ moda \ power boy\resort\garment \ conte \ bowles